Growing up, thinking about life and how you want things to be, I feel like certain things get over-looked. These are the things your parents don't want to talk about. Sex, attraction, wants, needs, and how to deal with these through out life. Even when you go to "pre-marriage counseling" the priest really should touch on these issues a little more, especially considering how high divorce rates are these days!
In my opinion, and maybe it's only because I like "it", I feel that sex and sexual attraction plays a huge role in all relationships, and marriages. If two don't have the same sexual appetite, one, or both become frustrated.
Maybe I enjoy, or want to have sex too much. I know that my body is no longer as perfect, small or as toned as it used to be, or even should be today, but I don't think that means I am sexually unattractive. And quite frankly, according to social stigma, when I wake up, roll over and want "it" in the night... he should too! :)
I feel like growing up I was very niave regaurding these issues. Yes, my parents fought from time to time, and as they grow older, I now know they don't always even sleep in the same bed (due to snorring issues with the both of them). I thought an affair was the most terrible, scandelous and RARE thing out there! Which I still think it is terrible and scandelous but rare, not so much anymore. I've recently annalyzed many relationships around me and the hardships they've faced. Many resulting in affairs, divorces, reconcilliations, more affairs. I always wonder, can you really love someone the same after they've cheated you, and for all of the unfaithfulness out there that we hear about, how much more is there that no one ever knows.
I've yet to decide if the person who forgives and tries to full-heartedly move forward in a situation like this is extremely strong or extremely weak. Can you love someone so much that you are willing to let them hurt you like that? Or on the opposite end, does the person hurting you really love you very much? By staying with someone through these hardships, are you sweeping-it-under-the-rug, or can you truely say, I forgive you. And even if forgiveness is possible, I don't think anyone ever really forgets. Or at least, I don't think I ever could. I don't know how you look at a person the same after knowing. On the same hand, life is hard and you never know the card others are dealt. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, is this just a "mistake"? Can someone truely have an "accident" and be 100% sorry, regretful, and will it never happen again? These questions I are loaded and I don't know what the right answers are; if there even is a right answer... What I do believe (personally) is that you shouldn't love your partner unconditionally. Unconditional love is for those who can do anything and everything hurtful, and at the end of the day, you'll love them the same amount.
It's easy to say now, since I have no children. But parents, or SOMEONE should tell kids "hey, sex is important, so you better make sure you and your partner have the same views here. You should really be attracted to one another (and his/her body). Make sure you not only love them, but LUST for them too. You should want your partner and s/he should want you in return...." This, of course, is definately not something they're going to teach you at Sunday school, and while I'm drumming over the issue, I know my mom, and any other religous women would struggle to bring this issue up as of course "no one is to even have sex prior to marriage".
All this being said I hope for every woman's sake out there, she has a best friend that she can go to with anything without judgement. I know that I do, and there's nothing in the world that means more. Just being able to vent, tell my deepest secrets, or undoubtedly trust is something I know I will always have. I can call anytime, and say anything. When I ask for advice, she'll give it, but when she knows that my mind is already made up, and I just "need to tell someone" she'll listen quietly, even if she thinks I'm making a terrible choice. It's not a best friends' job to judge you, or think poorly about the choices you've made. It's their job to love you regaurdless and help you get through things. Stick up for you when times are rough, and for those reasons. Every woman should have a bestfriend. Your best friend makes a choice to love you unconditionally. She's the only person besides your blood family that should.
She's the person I can tell "omg ____________ is soooo hot, I want to do it with him"
She'll laugh, and while she knows exactly how I feel, she won't call me the next morning to ask because she'll also know, I'm full of shit and never would :)
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