It weighs on my shoulders.... Or my feet when I really think about it.

There's too much to be said about weight. I will not publish my weight on here, thats for sure...  Does that mean I am ashamed of it, not really...

Everyone wishes away the best characterists about themselves.  If your hair is curly, you wish it to be straight. Short, you wish it to be long. Wish you were taller, wish you were shorter, wish you're eyes were bluer and your teeth were whiter.  Well I threw the list out... Ok I threw most of the list out. I would like to keep everything the same about myself, except rewind to my body shape/size of my senior year in high school.
Here's the problem though, I have since high school realized that I was very unhealthy then.  My body was much better (looking), yes, but my health, not so much.  I was anemic, and I had problems with dizziness about once a month, so much to the point that I didn't go to school. I remember waking up, feeling so dizzy that I couldn't walk out of my room and just going back to bed.  I was ALWAYS sleepy.  There were times I was babysitting, in class, or on the short ride from school to my house and I could barely keep my eyes open. AND I will say here, this weight issue was NOT to due to the fact that my parents weren't monitoring it, or feeding me properly. I ate breakfast and a three course meal every night (and of course the great school lunch).  The food I was eating then was a lot more healthy for me I know though.  I probably consumed twice the amount of fruits and vegetables I do now and the meat I ate was healthier because it was less processed and more lean. I didn't even know I was an unhealthy as I was! Especially because even then I wasn't boney or really ungodly skinny.  I've always had some junk in my trunk! and even now that's not something I am ashamed of or want to get rid of. 
If it were up to me, I wouldn't want to change myself, I'd want everyone else, to think the way that I look now is perfect.  Knowing that's not the case, makes me wanna run to the gym though! I have no one to impress, and I am comfortable in my own skin, I just wish I was still considered "little" :)
Having said that though, last winter I joined the rec. chose classes, and went to them religously at least 4-5 times a week.  I did LOVE it! I had more energy after and always felt good about myself. Whatever that means! I fell out of the routine though and know that I should get back into it.  I went for about 4 months, and I only lost 10 lbs or so, but my muscles changed a lot and I liked that.
So, I guess in summary, as I'm reflecting here, I do wish that I was smaller, but I am also not ashamed of who I am now.  Life goes on and beauty comes in all sizes.