Life

Will we be allowed to grow old?

2011-08-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

I spent the day with my bestie yesterday, and a couple of her sisters. We were talking about make-up and mascara and then we started talking about Latisse, which, for those who don't know, is supposed to stimulate your eye lashes to grower, longer, thicker and fuller. I had previously heard that after using it your eyelashes fall out! LOL that's not the case, I did some research on it today. Turns out they just shrink down to their normal size after you stop using it, it was WELL OVER $100/tube. I really wanted it but that's kind of expensive so my cheap little self, google-d other options. I found a comparable product, "iQ derma-something or another" It ended up being $25 including shipping, one tube is supposed to last a minimum of 3 months- we will see...

ANYWAYS, all of this got me to thinking... I wonder if there will come a generation where the woman will be simply not allowed to grow old? Will it be unheard of to accumulate wrinkles? To really age... There are enough creams/pills/cosmetic procedures now days to ensure the appearance of a woman's body.. and lets be frank, as I've said before, everyone wishes their own individuality (I will not call them flaws) away. So eventually, will the price be right to have the look of "perfection". I'm not even self-conscious about my eye-lashes! In fact I really like them. I just wanted prett-ier ones. So my insecurities... Will I put a price on them as to how much I would pay to change those things I am not-as-comfortable with. Good Question I think. I've always wanted a breast aug. and I do think that that's something I will someday get. I don't hate my boobs now, but as I've said, I have a very FULL butt- at any weight, and it would be nice to have the boobs to match. For now the VS Bombshell bra is helping, however even those are $60 a piece.. (and I have way to many bras/underwear) So that isn't a "cheap" option. Well then where do you stop? And is having fake nails/colored hair really that much different than having a face lift or your boobs done? As far as I'm concerned.. only the price tag is, and women everywhere value their self-image... What's the retail value for a nice ass, perky boobs and a youthful face? YOUR DECISION.

I don't wanna grow up :)

2011-07-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Why do we stop doing the simple things when we get older. I feel like the best things typically have an "age-restriction". Of course no one is going to tell you not to do it, but for some reason certain things just become less socially acceptable!

The BEST joys in life, as far as I'm concerned.. are free :)

1)Whether it's that favorite record/tape/cd from about ohhh, freshman year in highschool, or maybe earlier, PLAY IT, maybe once a month is enough. Just enough to hear 'if you wanna be my lover, gotta get with my friends... make it last forever, friendship never ends" or whatever your line is!

2) GO FISHING! even if you don't catch anything!

3) Catch a tadpole, and watch it grow legs, and turn into a frog

4) Sleep outside, not in a tent. Maybe a trampoline would be acceptable.

5) Enjoy a rainbow! and for that matter, enjoy rain! Don't cower inside and wait for it to pass. Go outside. Dance. Play. Lay in the Grass. Let it fall in your mouth.... and maybe even sing the song! "if all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops...."

6) Go to the zoo! It's sad that if you go to a petting zoo by yourself, people give some creepy looks! WHY can't everyone love to pet the baby goats or feed the deer and geese?

7) Go skinny dipping: not necessarily sexually, in fact not sexually. Just to enjoy the freedom!

8) Skip rope! Not alone, but with one of the really long jump ropes, and 2 friends, holding each end, singing.

9) Play candyland, operation or monkeys in a jar! (or all three)

10) Have some one else tie your shoes. Why, because its kind of them. Return the favor :)

Lust. Relationships. Friends.

2011-07-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

Growing up, thinking about life and how you want things to be, I feel like certain things get over-looked. These are the things your parents don't want to talk about. Sex, attraction, wants, needs, and how to deal with these through out life. Even when you go to "pre-marriage counseling" the priest really should touch on these issues a little more, especially considering how high divorce rates are these days!

In my opinion, and maybe it's only because I like "it", I feel that sex and sexual attraction plays a huge role in all relationships, and marriages. If two don't have the same sexual appetite, one, or both become frustrated.

Maybe I enjoy, or want to have sex too much. I know that my body is no longer as perfect, small or as toned as it used to be, or even should be today, but I don't think that means I am sexually unattractive. And quite frankly, according to social stigma, when I wake up, roll over and want "it" in the night... he should too! :)

I feel like growing up I was very niave regaurding these issues. Yes, my parents fought from time to time, and as they grow older, I now know they don't always even sleep in the same bed (due to snorring issues with the both of them). I thought an affair was the most terrible, scandelous and RARE thing out there! Which I still think it is terrible and scandelous but rare, not so much anymore. I've recently annalyzed many relationships around me and the hardships they've faced. Many resulting in affairs, divorces, reconcilliations, more affairs. I always wonder, can you really love someone the same after they've cheated you, and for all of the unfaithfulness out there that we hear about, how much more is there that no one ever knows.

I've yet to decide if the person who forgives and tries to full-heartedly move forward in a situation like this is extremely strong or extremely weak. Can you love someone so much that you are willing to let them hurt you like that? Or on the opposite end, does the person hurting you really love you very much? By staying with someone through these hardships, are you sweeping-it-under-the-rug, or can you truely say, I forgive you. And even if forgiveness is possible, I don't think anyone ever really forgets. Or at least, I don't think I ever could. I don't know how you look at a person the same after knowing. On the same hand, life is hard and you never know the card others are dealt. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, is this just a "mistake"? Can someone truely have an "accident" and be 100% sorry, regretful, and will it never happen again? These questions I are loaded and I don't know what the right answers are; if there even is a right answer... What I do believe (personally) is that you shouldn't love your partner unconditionally. Unconditional love is for those who can do anything and everything hurtful, and at the end of the day, you'll love them the same amount.

It's easy to say now, since I have no children. But parents, or SOMEONE should tell kids "hey, sex is important, so you better make sure you and your partner have the same views here. You should really be attracted to one another (and his/her body). Make sure you not only love them, but LUST for them too. You should want your partner and s/he should want you in return...." This, of course, is definately not something they're going to teach you at Sunday school, and while I'm drumming over the issue, I know my mom, and any other religous women would struggle to bring this issue up as of course "no one is to even have sex prior to marriage".

All this being said I hope for every woman's sake out there, she has a best friend that she can go to with anything without judgement. I know that I do, and there's nothing in the world that means more. Just being able to vent, tell my deepest secrets, or undoubtedly trust is something I know I will always have. I can call anytime, and say anything. When I ask for advice, she'll give it, but when she knows that my mind is already made up, and I just "need to tell someone" she'll listen quietly, even if she thinks I'm making a terrible choice. It's not a best friends' job to judge you, or think poorly about the choices you've made. It's their job to love you regaurdless and help you get through things. Stick up for you when times are rough, and for those reasons. Every woman should have a bestfriend. Your best friend makes a choice to love you unconditionally. She's the only person besides your blood family that should.

She's the person I can tell "omg ____________ is soooo hot, I want to do it with him"
She'll laugh, and while she knows exactly how I feel, she won't call me the next morning to ask because she'll also know, I'm full of shit and never would :)

Negative Nancy

2011-07-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

I am, normally, not a negative person. But sometimes I feel like I just need to let all of the negativety that is bottled up inside of me OUT. I've decided this is the perfect place to unleash it. I feel like I am treated like a permanent live-in, house keeper, cook and often times, door mat.
Top ~~ten~~ five pet peeves for the day:
1) WHYYYYYY IS YOUR LAUNDRY EVVVERRRYWHERE!?!? The couch, the floor, the kitchen, the counter, laying on TOP of the clean laundry- in the laundry room. All over the closet, which you would think would be a legitamate place for it, but not when my closet is a 9x9 room and its all over the floor in heaving piles. I wash, dry, fold, hang and put away. All you have to do is wear it and get it in the hamper- shouldn't be so tough!
2) On the note of laundry, I put a load in when I go to work in the morning, when I get home I hear the dryer running... I think *ohhhh so nice, he switched it over for me* NOT the case, I go to the dryer where I find one lone tee. When I inquire about this I learn that, not only did he NOT put the laundry from the washer to the dryer, he actually added that one lone tee, to the (already clean) load, I had started earlier that morning (thus washing the exact same, already clean load, twice).. Then proceeded to pick his tee out of the other laundry, and throw it in the dryer. As you can imagine though *oh so nice...* thoughts I had earlier then bubble to annoyance. -oh and by the way, I've seen the same thing happen with the dishwasher if the correct coffee cup isn't clean
3) Food. I should be keeping a running track of the dollar amount of food that is wasted because "no one" (and by the way, I'm not including myself there) puts it back into the fridge when done. Oh look, another bottle of coffee-mate. Another tub of butter, or frozen pizza. How does he not remember to put it back?!
4) I keep the house fairly clean. The Garage, is not my responsibility, you keep it clean. See all that crap you have laying around, from tools, to your gym laundry, garbage and CRAP. Not my deal. Pick it up, please... I realize it might be petty, but I am ashamed of this mess. I was not brought up this way and I pray that no one ever even sees the garage!
5) Be appreciative and not picky. Enough said there. Don't take me for granted.

It weighs on my shoulders.... Or my feet when I really think about it.

2011-07-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

There's too much to be said about weight. I will not publish my weight on here, thats for sure... Does that mean I am ashamed of it, not really...

Everyone wishes away the best characterists about themselves. If your hair is curly, you wish it to be straight. Short, you wish it to be long. Wish you were taller, wish you were shorter, wish you're eyes were bluer and your teeth were whiter. ~~Well I threw the list out...~~ Ok I threw most of the list out. I would like to keep everything the same about myself, except rewind to my body shape/size of my senior year in high school.
Here's the problem though, I have since high school realized that I was very unhealthy then. My body was much better (looking), yes, but my health, not so much. I was anemic, and I had problems with dizziness about once a month, so much to the point that I didn't go to school. I remember waking up, feeling so dizzy that I couldn't walk out of my room and just going back to bed. I was ALWAYS sleepy. There were times I was babysitting, in class, or on the short ride from school to my house and I could barely keep my eyes open. AND I will say here, this weight issue was NOT to due to the fact that my parents weren't monitoring it, or feeding me properly. I ate breakfast and a three course meal every night (and of course the great school lunch). The food I was eating then was a lot more healthy for me I know though. I probably consumed twice the amount of fruits and vegetables I do now and the meat I ate was healthier because it was less processed and more lean. I didn't even know I was an unhealthy as I was! Especially because even then I wasn't boney or really ungodly skinny. I've always had some junk in my trunk! and even now that's not something I am ashamed of or want to get rid of.
If it were up to me, I wouldn't want to change myself, I'd want everyone else, to think the way that I look now is perfect. Knowing that's not the case, makes me wanna run to the gym though! I have no one to impress, and I am comfortable in my own skin, I just wish I was still considered "little" :)
Having said that though, last winter I joined the rec. chose classes, and went to them religously at least 4-5 times a week. I did LOVE it! I had more energy after and always felt good about myself. Whatever that means! I fell out of the routine though and know that I should get back into it. I went for about 4 months, and I only lost 10 lbs or so, but my muscles changed a lot and I liked that.
So, I guess in summary, as I'm reflecting here, I do wish that I was smaller, but I am also not ashamed of who I am now. Life goes on and beauty comes in all sizes.

Judgement Day---> DOES NOT MEAN YOUR DAY TO JUDGE!

2011-07-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

When I'm busy and on the go, I'm always ready for whats to come, or at least I think I am. But now, the less I have to do, the more bored I become, and thus, the more sleepy. That's where I'm hoping blogging will come into play. I think this first "blog" will be entitled, judgement, instead of "first blog" (like I said I was sleepy, that's all the more creative I could become)... I feel like there should be a list of things we shouldn't judge people for, so that's what I will create right now.

Top 10 reasons you might, but SHOULDN'T judge people:
10) Tattoos- I think that everyone has the right to be individual and not that I think everyone's tattoos are amazing, beautiful, or even worth the pain/money/time, BUT That person must have thought it was worth it, and it is their time, money and pain- so more power to them! I might not like seeing the dragon tattoo on your right arm, but I don't have to look at it in the mirror every day either!
9) Peircings- Whether it be your ears to your unmentionables, once again, your body, your choice!
8) Age- No one gets to decide how old they are, as unfortunate as it might be! The 16 year olds are wishing they are in their 20's and the 90 year olds would go back to being 16 in a heart beat. Accept and respect everyone, not just your elders. There's no reason to think someone else is stupid, not everyone has the same life experiences and everyone has different opinions. You don't have to change yours, just try to accept theirs.
7) For having opinions- If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything. Everyone is different, and sees things differntly for numerous reasons. This being said, I'm first to admidt I have a very low tolerance for those who have a million opinions but haven't taken the time to truely research or become educated on the topic being preached. Also, select the items you feel strongly about based on how much your being directly effected by them. Opinions are more meaningful.
6) Dress- not everyone can afford nice clothes or name brand items, their expensive and to be honest, some people just don't WANT to pay for them.
5) Dreams- Everyone should dream, nothing would ever get done if it weren't for dreams. Be erratic. ACT on your dreams, in effort into making them into a reality! Work hard and be determined.
4) Race- This is what God gave that person. No matter what the race, God made that person and they are individual and unique the way they are. We don't judge because of eye color, why judge because of skin color.
3) Religion- I believe what I believe because of MY life experiences, MY family and MY surroundings. Everyone believes in something different, and while I do not always agree with it things, I don't think that you should be judged because of your personal beliefs.
2) Family- At one point, you might think your family is perfet. Life is great. But no one is perfect, and like it or not, people learn to accept family for what they are. Love within families should be unconditional. You shouldn't judge people because of their family because it is what they are BLESSED with, not cursed. Embrace the family God gives you.
1) Life- Everyone has a messy life, at least everyone thinks their life is messy. From Relationships, school, jobs, family and friends things don't always go perfect and when life gets rough it's hard to cope with things the "right" way, and by right, I mean the way "the public" wants you to. It's easy to say that you have to do whatever's best for yourself no matter what, it's a lot harder to actually do that.

Add on if you will...